Feng Shui To Take Your Power Back After A Breakup Or Divorce

May 26, 2023 | Creativity

feng shui breakup or divorce

Feng Shui is a fantastic and, dare I say, vital ingredient when you’re moving through all kinds of transitions in life.  Whether you’re starting a new endeavor or moving to a new city, attracting new love or going through a breakup.  Every passageway we move through– whether it appears positive or less-than-positive on the surface–  is ultimately to make us stronger, brighter, wiser, and more ready to receive greatness. Breakups are often disarmingly difficult to navigate, but they, too, can open doors to the most epic love and growth.

Today, Feng Shui School of Intention Graduate, and brilliant coach Carrie Fitzgerald, who specializes in Conscious Uncoupling and Integrative Attachment Theory, is here to share some Feng Shui and energy shifts to help you empower yourself if you’re in the midst of a breakup or a divorce.

Taking Back Your Power After a Divorce or Breakup – How Feng Shui Helps

After a divorce or breakup, you may feel weakened, devastated, even powerless. Perhaps you can’t relate to the new life before you, one without the person you loved. Maybe you’re telling yourself you don’t want this life, you want the old one back – the one with your person in it, when you were connected and sharing a life together. But here you are, in a new home or apartment, or the one your partner moved out of or no longer visits. You can’t shake the bad feeling when you wake up in the morning.  Will you ever feel better? You will. I promise.

When you feel powerless and unsteady, look for the moment when you gave your power away. When did you lose your power in the relationship? Did you stop speaking up for what you wanted? Did you discount your own preferences for whatever your spouse or partner wanted? Did you stop trying to work out disagreements telling yourself, “They never listen anyway.” Did you stop asking questions about your life together because you thought, “Nothing will ever change. We’re just unhappy.” If you did any of those, dig a little further back. When did it begin? What happened that told you to give up? When did you first begin to shush yourself and your own desire?

Once you find your way down that path, you can begin to come out of it. You can see that you felt more comfortable/emotionally safe when you went along with what they wanted. You hadn’t taken time to know yourself enough to know what you really wanted; your preferences didn’t come to mind when you were asked. You stopped talking through disagreements because you felt unheard and ignored. You accepted a level of unhappiness as the cost of being together and didn’t believe life could be better. See this discovery through a lens of curiosity and compassion. DO not blame yourself. Stay curious.

And now? Now you can get your power back! Now you can live in ways that support you and guide you to know yourself and say want you want. You’re not going backwards. You’re not re-tracing your steps. You’re taking new steps, in a new direction, with purpose and knowing. Each way you gave up your power before is how you will reclaim it now.

feng shui breakup or divorce

Learn what it is you really want, prefer, desire, need. Start with your surroundings.

  • How much light do you like? Should you add lighting to your home? Could you open the blinds more often? When do you like the room to be dark and subdued? How does that feel to you? What do light and darkness evoke in you?
  • How is your furniture arranged? Does the arrangement promote the feel you want in the room? Move it around!
  • How about the items on your shelves? Curate them so you only see what you love. If old photos bring up sad memories, put up an aspirational photo of somewhere you want to go or of a view you especially love.
  • What color do you prefer? Can you add that color on the walls, either painting or through artwork? Place colorful throw pillows or blankets to the furniture.
  • Do you like music playing in the background? What kind of music? Make some playlists for your different moods and times of day.
  • What feeling does your bedroom convey? Does it feel restful and supportive of deep sleep and quiet time? Is it cluttered and dreary? Try clearing the energy in your bedroom with lemons or sage. Vacuum the mattress and change or wash the bedding. Dust the blinds or wash the curtains.
  • Do you like flowers? If so, bring flowers inside, from a garden or from the grocery store or a flower market. Trim the stems and change the water often. Take good care of them. If flowers aren’t your thing, consider lighting incense or use a flower essence to add your preferred scent to your home.
  • Spend time paying attention to what you like and don’t like. Make your home a reflection of what you like.

feng shui for breakup or divorce

Empower your self-talk!

Listen to how you speak to yourself. Practice adjusting your speech if it’s usually negative (“This will never work. I’ll be alone forever. I was bad at marriage/love.”) Catch yourself and try out new ways of speaking. “I am starting to like this life. I am making my home how I want it to be. It reflects me.” And “I can learn and grow from that relationship. I am learning new ways of relating and communicating. My capacities are developing and growing every day.”

If you struggle with core wounds from childhood, often exacerbated during relationships or times of stress, seek help from a coach or therapist. Your core wounds have you believing things like, “I’m not good enough. I’m bad. I’m unsafe. I am/will be abandoned. I am unworthy.” When you believe and abide a wound like that, you tend to live it out. You abandon yourself. You treat yourself like you’re bad and undeserving. You put yourself in harm’s way or you overprotect yourself, so you miss out on the bounty of life.

Your home and environment can help you move beyond your core wound. If you identify with feeling unsafe, secure the locks on your home AND make sure you have your creature comforts around, a warm blanket, a comfy chair or sofa, things that make you feel safe and secure. When you tell yourself, “I’m bad or unworthy,” make sure you let go of items that are beyond repair. Give yourself the gift of a functional, working home that helps you. Let go of things that are stained or wobbly. Keep items around you that feel good to you. And if you face an inner voice telling you that you’ve been or will always be abandoned, start to show up for yourself. Set a time for waking and going to sleep. Make your bed each morning. Keep nutritious food in the house that you like, keep a social life that sustains and doesn’t deplete you. Take very good care of yourself.

The end of a relationship might feel like the end of your world. Instead, start to see the new life developing. Step by step your power and inner knowing will emerge from within. Turn your home and your environment into active supporters for you as you deepen into your wonderful new life.

Carrie Fitzgerald, a coach certified in Modern Feng Shui, Conscious Uncoupling, and Integrated Attachment Theory, can be found HERE and @yourintentionallifecoach on Instagram. Use THIS LINK to schedule a 20 minute, free discovery call with her.

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